and this is the tail end of the most up-and-down day i've experienced since the bittersweet occasion that was high school graduation. somehow that seems like ages ago, and i don't know if that realisation makes me happy or sad. i spent a large part of today saying goodbyes: to my brother, who's going back to school, and to several of my friends, who are heading off as well. saying "see you at christmas" or planning thanksgiving weekend reunions with my closest friends is terrifying and melancholy. but at the same time, it makes me overwhelmingly happy that everyone in my life is going into the world and carving out their own places in it. it's been said that when michelangelo created a sculpture, he started with a block of solid marble and chipped away at it until he "found" his piece of art within it. one painstakingly packed suitcase, backpack, and longchamp tote bag later, i still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that it's now my turn.
it feels quite real- struggling through baggage weight limits and confusing migration forms- yet it all feels surreal still. i have a feeling it won't be until i'm on the plane, above the clouds, picking at my airplane dinner, that it'll hit me that this is my life. and when it hits me, i'm going to feel as weightless as the clouds i'm flying over. marit and i have been dreaming about this year for months, years even, and every time lately that i've gotten caught up in stressing about minutiae regarding this trip, i've had to pinch myself and remind myself that oh my god, i'm going to be exploring the world (well, parts of it) with my best friend. this has been our mutual pipe dream since we were eleven, and now it's happening.
i am so, so lucky. and i am so, so tired. packing is exhausting. now it's time for my last sleep in my own bed until october.
x
msb
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