au revoir, tours

{Written Sunday afternoon, but didn't have wifi, and then had wifi but no time, so I'm posting this now}


Leaving Tours feels like coming full circle.

Though I was in France briefly a year ago, the last time I spent significant time in a francophone country was 3 summers ago when I spent a month doing an Experiment in International Living program in Switzerland. That summer was eye-opening for me; I was the most independent I had ever been, I realised how beneficial immersion is in the language-learning process, and for the first time I began to fully appreciate travel as more than just something awesome and fun that I got to do from time to time- I began to see it as something fundamentally enriching, a way to grow as a person and learn about oneself. I still get waves of nostalgia whenever I hear a song from Adele's album "21", my Swiss host family's favourite CD to listen to in the car whenever we drove anywhere. But if there's one thing I wish I could change about that trip, it's how hard I was on myself. At various points during my month in Switzerland, I remember thinking, "Next time I do something like this, I'll be able to communicate better with my host family," or "Next time, I'll be able to speak good enough French to chat with teenagers my age and not feel self-conscious," etcetera ad nauseum. I was acutely aware of where I was and of where I wanted to be with French.

Coming to Tours, living with a host family, and immersing myself in the language gave me a sense of déjà vu, and I'm very happy to see how far I've come. Long gone are the hesitations before speaking, the constant gnawing anxiety at the thought of being misunderstood or of sounding ridiculous, and the frustration at not being able to express myself fully and articulate my thoughts to the extent I wanted to. I still have a ways to go before I speak fluently, but I'm right where my 16-year-old self would have hoped I'd be, especially after not having set foot in a French class for nearly a year, and living in Argentina and Israel surrounded by other languages in the interim. I've definitely improved since I've been in Tours, and that's satisfying to know.

And I've had such a good time here. I've made a group of hilarious, lovely friends, gotten to explore a region of France I hadn't been to before, and enjoyed every minute (with the possible exception of my marathon Friday afternoon art history lectures involving an actual literal projector and dozens of slides of the interior decor of various châteaux) of my 6 weeks here.

It was sad to hang out with our friends last night and know it was the final time. But when we were all out dancing and a remix of Adele's "Someone Like You" started to play, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.

Leaving France feels like the end of an era- it's the last long-term portion of the gap year. But the adventure's not quite over yet. I'm writing this on the train from Tours to Paris, where we're meeting Tamar, putting our bags in a storage locker for the afternoon, and spending a few hours in the city before boarding a night train to Munich. The next two weeks are about to be insanely busy, but I can't wait.

À bientôt,

x
M